I’m feeling blue… Advice from you!

What would you like to know?

I had a thought today that while I enjoy writing about whatever strikes my fancy or feels important enough to share, I’d like to know what you guys want to hear about!

So, this is it, leave a comment with likes, dislikes, questions, or suggestions about what you’d like to know about our newlywed life!

Happy newlyweds!

STILL in the Christmas spirit…

Today, Hubs and I both have the day off work. What have we done so far? Well, we’ve  had breakfast, cuddled on the couch, and googled what else we wanted to do today.

We’ve found a restaurant we want to try tonight, as well as a fun afternoon and evening of stuff to do in this city. We’ve lived here for more than five months and we still haven’t done a lot of stuff in the city. I mentioned awhile ago that while I love our little apartment and I like living up here with Hubs, the city doesn’t really feel like our permanent home. It feels like we’re visiting or something.

So, I have a plan that if we explore more and find more places that we like to go, we’ll feel more at home.

That may not work, but it’s worth a try, right?

Anyway, now that I’ve rambled for awhile about something unrelated to the topic of this post, I’d like to begin talking about the reason I sat down to write in the first place.

How long is it okay to leave my Christmas tree up?

I still enjoy it, and I don’t want to put it away because I’m still hanging onto the last few shreds of Christmas spirit I can muster up. Why? Because it’s a fun time and I like how festive our apartment ended up looking. Also, I don’t want to have to focus on packing everything up and trying to find a place for it in our apartment. I think we’ve decided we’re going to store our decorations in my parents’ basement until we have more room someday. (Sorry, Mom, and thanks!)

We took down the outdoor lights while the weather was so nice a couple days ago, and we still have the lighted snowman in the window, but he’s on the inside, so we can take him down comfortably even if it’s freezing and snowing outside.

As for all the presents, we’ve done a pretty good job of “moving in” all our new goodies, but there’s still the bigger stuff that needs to find a home in our already-full apartment.

Hubs gets frustrated at this easily, as he thinks we have too much stuff. I tell him to try and imagine what it will be like when we have a whole house to fill up and we have several empty rooms… (resolution number 4 will be both scary and exciting…)

This is a point of contention for us. I like things tidy and neat (despite the state of my closet and bedroom floor sometimes) and I don’t love having a lot of stuff sitting around cluttering up our counters and shelves. However, I also like having stuff on hand when I want it. For instance, I like to know that I have enough cups and dishes for a full dinner party…if the opportunity ever presents itself. Hubs would be fine if we just had 2 cups and 2 plates.

Ok, not really, because we did only have 2 plates for awhile and we both got a bit tired of washing them all the time.

Hubs just keeps reminding how “un fun” it’s going to be to carry all this great stuff out of here and into the next place we’ll live. I know he’s right, but we have plenty of friends and family that will help us with that, right?

Right?

Hey, where did everybody go?

 

Advice from you: Christmas Shopping

Lately, Hubs and I have had a lot of discussions revolving around Christmas shopping. I love to give and get gifts. He doesn’t care that much for either. Still, he respects and enjoys sharing in my joy at this part of the holidays even if he doesn’t understand why I love it so much. But we have lots of unanswered questions…

1. How do we decide how much to spend on gifts for each other? Should we set an amount limit and divide it up into gifts how we each please? What if 1 person uses all the money on one nice gift and the other buys 10 little ones? Is it better to not worry about the cost and get the same amount of presents to unwrap? We’ve decided on a combination of both I think, but are still considering the money limit. After all, we’re newlyweds and trying to save as much money as possible.

Wyatt likes to wrap gifts in newsprint. I appreciate that about him. These are his gifts to me a couple years ago. And one from me.

2. How do we decide how much to spend on gifts for others? Same system? Another way?

3. When do we open our presents for each other since we’ll be traveling for the holidays? We want to start our own family traditions but aren’t sure when is the best time.

4. How do we (I) decorate without spending a lot on Christmas?

5. How do we fit a tree in our tiny apartment?

I love the Christmas season and I love thinking about the idea that we’re our own family now, and we’ll have our own traditions and ways to decorate, celebrate, and make it through this holiday, but there’s bound to be some growing pains as we both adjust.

I don’t think gift giving should be about the money or even about matching giving levels, but it’s hard to find the right balance the first time around. How do we figure out a good system without everything feeling too planned or too fussy?

Help!

Advice from You: Chores…

Can someone please tell me how there’s always so much laundry and dishes to be done?

I mean, there’s just two of us…how does the work pile up that fast? I do it every day.

Any advice on what brings order to the chore list? Any secrets for keeping it neat longer? What about suggestions for tips or tricks to get it done faster or better?

Anyone want to know more about me?

I asked Wyatt what I should post about and he suggested letting you guys ask some questions. So, here it is:

Ask me questions about me, about Wyatt and I, about our apartment, this blog or whatever…

And the most exciting part? Wyatt’s going to play along, too! He says he’s game to offer your questions, too, so feel free to let him have it.

(If it’s super personal, leave an email and I’ll reply that way…not that I don’t want the whole world to know…)

Also, if you have ideas or suggestions for posts, let me know those, too! I like hearing from you guys!

I decided to add some pictures of when Wyatt and I were first dating, just for fun. This is a 1940's style costume party we went to.

And here’s another, just for fun.

At a school dance in 2006.

I couldn’t sleep last night…Advice from you!

I know I often write about the slightly frustrating process of learning to share the bed and sleep with my husband, but I felt the need to share the latest development in the sleeping department.

I’m just not as tired as he is. Like ever. Even when I’m tired. Because by that time, he’s basically catatonic. (Okay, I’m exaggerating, but you get the idea…)

I know, I know…you’d think that my super busy schedule of sitting on the couch and writing this blog would be enough to have me dragging off to bed at a reasonable hour every night…

Actually, I do a lot during the day. I do laundry. I cook and clean the kitchen at least once a day, sometimes two or three times. I go for a run, at least 2 or three miles every day, sometimes more, do some other stretching or workouts, shower, make myself look presentable for when Wyatt gets home from work, search and apply for jobs, rewrite and rewrite (and rewrite!) cover letter after cover letter, watch HGTV and Food network, figure out which wedding pictures we need to order, continue to figure out how to best organize all the stuff we have crammed into our little apartment…the list goes on and on…

But at night, when Wyatt’s struggling to keep his eyes open while we get ready for bed, I’m still wide awake and ready to go.

And it doesn’t help to say, “Hey, honey, I’m not tired,” because by that point he’s so tired he’s not at all helpful in problem solving. Last night he suggested I go watch TV, and when I disagreed with that idea, he said, “Why don’t you read?”

And then he fell asleep.

…

Which is fine. Really, it is.

He’s tired, and I get that he needs to go to bed so he can get up and go to work. But I get up when he gets up every day. And while I don’t have to shower and get dressed right away, I make his lunch and try to make sure he doesn’t forget it on his way out the door. (That happens more than you’d think, dangit!)

So I guess my problem is this: Now not only do we need to learn to be comfortable with the other of us in the bed, we have to figure out how to get our sleep schedules in the same time zone.

Last night I just listened to him breathing for awhile, amazed at how fast he drifted off, blessed by how peaceful he sounded, amazed that he was really there, sleeping there beside me (I know it’s been three months, but I still grin in joy every night when we climb into bed, surprised this married part of our journey finally began).

And that seemed to work, because I don’t remember a lot after those thoughts except the sound of his breathing, heavy, but not quite a snore (thankfully!) and I woke up at 5 am this morning feeling wide awake. (I eventually fell back asleep and woke up again, super sleepy, at 7, when I had to give Wyatt a “Yay-it’s-Friday” pep talk to push him out of bed and into the shower.

What do you think? Will we ever get used to this? I know you other newlywed wives feel my pain. What do the husbands think? Is this just a wife problem? Because Wyatt says he doesn’t sleep well, but he seems to be doing pretty well to me. How do you cope? Separate bedtimes? Separate beds?!? And what about those that have been married for a long time…advice please!

“Would you let me go to space?”

This post is proof that in marriage, an in-depth conversation or potential argument can come from anywhere.

Last night as we were sitting in our living room watching TV, we were switching back and forth from watching my beloved Cardinals and The Big Bang Theory. (We don’t watch it because we believe that’s the way the universe began, we watch it because we both enjoy the awkward comedy from the socially uncomfortable scientists.)

Anyway, on this particular episode, Howard gets invited to go into space, but his girlfriend (or is it is fiance? I’ve lost track) gets scared, freaks out, and tells him he can’t go. At the next commercial break, Wyatt turns to me and asks, seemingly innocent enough, “Would you let me go to space?”

Um…

Well…

Hmmm…

…

Clearly, I didn’t know what to say. Because at a moment like this, it’s a toss-up between wanting to be the excited wife who supports her husband in his dreams and quirks, and being the practical wife that knows how dangerous it would be so she says, “heck no!” and ends the conversation while crushing his hopes and dreams.

Hence my response:

“Well, I guess it would depend on why you wanted to, why you were given the opportunity, and how it was all going to work out, but overall, I’d have to lean toward…no.”

His eyes widened in surprise, (or was it mock surprise?) because let’s face it, this was a test and we both knew it. And he knows me well enough to know that was probably going to be my response.

So we talked about it some more.

And of course, I presented my fears about how dangerous it was, and his eyes glowed with how awesome it would be. (I agree, can you image the crazy, out-of-this-world view? Ok, bad pun, but still…)

At one point, he said, “How many people get to go to space?”

To which I responded, “Not that many, that’s why the percentage of those that don’t come back is so big!”

He even laughingly suggested we both go to space, so if anything happens, we’d go together! And while I’m all for Shakespeare, that doesn’t mean I want a dramatic Romeo and Juliet twist to our love story.

Now, of course, this was all in good fun. It isn’t like space travel has been a long-time dream of his, and we both know he isn’t likely to get invited to go to space any time soon, or ever, even. But there are other ways this type of situation can be presented, and it comes down to the question of whether the call of adventure or the reins of reality win out.

Don’t get me wrong, I like adventure. I was VERY tempted to go skydiving last Fall with coworkers from Missouri Life magazine. But in the end, I decided I just wasn’t ready to take that jump.

I mean, there’s danger in every situation. I’m well aware. I fell down at college once while I was running and still have the scars from the sidewalk to prove it. I had a car accident when I was sixteen and rolled my little SUV two and a half times.

But that doesn’t mean I’m going to seek out dangerous situations. In fact, I think those things make me want to do the opposite. That’s one reason I have such respect and admiration for military, firefighter, and law enforcement families. It’s a scary world out there. How do you find the balance between finding adventures and staying safe?

What do you think? Are there things you’re afraid to do? What about things you’re afraid for your loved ones to do? How can a wife be supportive and level-headed when confronted with a real-life situation like our TV-inspired scenario?

Spider Hunting

Yesterday while Wyatt was at work and I was doing pilates, (and thus, bending over backwards, sideways, etc.) I happened to see a spider web in the corner of our living room. This disturbed me a little bit, since we haven’t seen any spiders in a while. Yet, I know that our main spider enemy, the recluses, don’t make webs anyway.

Still, it didn’t make me happy.

Just in time for Halloween. But I'm not feeling the festivities.

So, my spider-spying skills, which I told you were on high alert, I immediately saw this little visitor in the very highest spot he could be.

Dangit! I really hate spiders.He's kinda small, and really high up there, but he was there, for sure.

So, since he was so high, as high as he could possibly be, I couldn’t reach him, even if I stood on the chair. So I decided I’d just keep an eye on him, watch to see if he moved, and hope Wyatt would find a way to kill him when he got home from work.

But, somewhere in the time between when I started eating lunch and when I got up to take my stuff to the sink, he disappeared. Crap. That meant I had “cause” to freak out.

See, I was fine when I knew where he was. But when he’s “loose” in my apartment, I get a little creeped out.

This went on for a few hours. I kept cautiously scanning the walls and ceilings until…

There he is, the creepy little critter.

So naturally, I got a paper towel to kill it. And also naturally, I had to give myself a pep talk before I had the courage to actually squish him.

So after about three times of counting to “2,” I managed to say “3” and the spider was a goner.

After this, I asked Wyatt to clean the cob webs, which he is currently doing, (Thanks, Honey!) and I’m going to go back to just being cautious when I put on my shoes or get a blanket out of the closet.

If anyone has ideas as for how to get me to be less freaked out by these disgusting eight-legged freaks, I’m all ears, er, eyes.

Thanks!

Advice from you: Groceries