Posts Tagged With: Being bored
I didn’t have to work today which was a huge blessing because I really needed to get motivated to get back into the swing of housework. Hubs and I had a great little staycation and restful couple of days over the long weekend and our apartment certainly showed evidence of the lazy nights we had spent at home enjoying the coziness of our couch instead of folding and hanging up clean clothes or sorting the mountain of mail on our coffee table.
But as important as it is to me to have our little apartment neat and clean, it’s more important to me to enjoy the time at home with my Hubs. I just had no idea how much I had gotten used to my time at home during the day during the months I wasn’t working!
Don’t get me wrong, I was bored at times and I got tired of sitting on our couch feeling worthless because no one would hire me. (Yes, I admit I had a few pity-party-like moments…) But, the truth of the matter is that I was able to really work on making and keeping our apartment like I wanted it to be.
I have a theory that I’m not very productive around the house at night because Wyatt and I dated long distance so long. When we hung out at either of our houses or apartments at night, we absolutely were not going to waste time doing anything but soaking up every minute we had together. (We were so cute, right?)
I think that’s why I have trouble working around the house once Hubs gets home at night, (or now that I’m working, when I get home and he’s already there…). I also sometimes get annoyed when he plays video games or all we do is sit around and watch TV. We dated so long and saw each other only one or two nights a week, sometimes less than that, for several years, and we learned to do a good job of really focusing on each other in the time we had together. Now that we’re together so much more, it’s easier for Wyatt to relax and just chill out, not necessarily doing “date-like” activities.
And that’s fine.
Really it is.
We don’t have to have a date-like activity to do every night. (However, continuing to date each other is a key aspect in marriage, I believe, and one to not overlook, no matter how busy life may get!) And yes, “QT” will always be something that’s important to me, and us. I’m just learning to see it a bit differently.
I need to learn to appreciate the time we have together doing everyday things like folding laundry and washing dishes and watching American Guns on TV as much as I appreciate the time we have to do other, more date-like things. I can’t always just focus on why we don’t have “QT” (Quality time) as much as we used to.
The fact of the matter is that we DO have as much QT. More even! We have QT every day when we greet each other after work, every night when we’re holding each other tightly before bed, every morning when we’re struggling to open our eyes and get out of bed, every time I lay my head on his shoulder and close my eyes because I’m a bit bored by whatever show we happen to be watching on TV.
I sometimes just have a hard time seeing these moments as quality time when I’m too busy pouting because we aren’t playing a game or going out to a really nice dinner or having a long heart-to-heart conversation or sitting silently staring into each others’ eyes for hours on end…
..Okay, I don’t really want us to do that last thing…I got a bit carried away there.
But you know what I’m trying to say, right?
I just need to do a better job of seeing things his way…in this instance. At least sometimes. Wyatt is so wise, isn’t he?
What about you? Is this something you understand and can relate to? How can I work to overcome the disconnect I sometimes feel when my idea of QT isn’t the same as Hubs’s?
I’m not always the easiest person to be around on Sunday afternoons and evenings. I know, I know, it’s a big shocker that I get moody sometimes…(just kidding.)
Anyway, not that I want to blame it on anything, but I’m going to blame it on something.
On Sunday nights, Wyatt likes to go to bed early to get ready for the work week. That’s fine. I get that. I like going to bed early, too, because I’m usually tired from all the weekend fun and festivities. But he at least has something to do the next morning. I have another whole week of looking for a job to look forward to. Yay!
And for some reason, I tend to have emotional eating issues in reverse of what normal people have. I don’t like to eat when I’m unhappy (maybe because to me, good food=happiness). And if I don’t want to eat when I’m unhappy, I also don’t want to cook when I’m unhappy. Which can cause some issues when there’s no more leftovers and it’s dinner time.
So on Sunday, after pouting while Hubs relaxed on the couch watching football and boring movies (i.e. “Boy movies,” and not even good ones…) I tried to get my sunshine fix by sitting on our balcony and reading a magazine. But there was no sun on our shady little deck, and my body craved movement. So I laced up my shoes and grabbed a hat to take a long walk. And surprisingly, Wyatt joined me!
I didn’t even have to beg him!
Although he did complain quite a bit as we were walking.
But while we were out there, I was happy, happy, happy. And despite his complaining, we walked all the way to Hyvee (about a 2.5 mile round trip) and had a pretty good time. (Having things within walking distance is a fun perk of living in the city!)
And then when we came back inside and he immediately turned the TV back on, I immediately got salty again. Dangit.
So I took a long, hot shower. That usually makes me feel better.
And it worked, so I was inspired enough to start dinner: mashed potatoes and my mom’s meatloaf recipe, crescent rolls, and steamed asparagus. Yum.
But when I was peeling the potatoes, I remembered how much I hate peeling potatoes, and I ended up dropping one down the garbage disposal (slippery little buggers!) and getting super frustrated all over again.
Poor Wyatt was at a loss as to what to do. He asked what was wrong, I tried to tell him, but failed on one level and refused on another, because I knew he would be his usual stubborn and sweet self and immediately try to fix the problem, which would solve one problem and create another. Because I respect that he should be able to watch what he wants, but what he wants to watch makes me angry.
So I steamed silently while prepping the meatloaf and potatoes, as the loud violence played on, and when I got the pan into the oven, I set the timer, grabbed my laptop, and headed to the bedroom to escape the movie in the living room.
And like any good newlywed husband, Wyatt soon came in after me.
(insert “aw’s” and happy sighs here)
He said it was crazy for me to be in there, and I explained that I just didn’t want to watch what he was watching, but that it was fine and fair for him to want to watch that…and he, of course, said he would switch to something else, something I would want to watch. Which, if I’m being totally honest, is what I wanted, and not what I wanted.
But we made it through the night, we made it to dinner (it was yummy) and we made it to bed at a reasonable hour and with smiles on our faces.
I guess we’re doing something right…
P.S. Hubs and I were featured on another newlywed blog this week. Check out http://www.livesimplylove.com/make-up-monday-adventure/ and leave some love for another great marriage resource!
I know I often write about the slightly frustrating process of learning to share the bed and sleep with my husband, but I felt the need to share the latest development in the sleeping department.
I’m just not as tired as he is. Like ever. Even when I’m tired. Because by that time, he’s basically catatonic. (Okay, I’m exaggerating, but you get the idea…)
I know, I know…you’d think that my super busy schedule of sitting on the couch and writing this blog would be enough to have me dragging off to bed at a reasonable hour every night…
Actually, I do a lot during the day. I do laundry. I cook and clean the kitchen at least once a day, sometimes two or three times. I go for a run, at least 2 or three miles every day, sometimes more, do some other stretching or workouts, shower, make myself look presentable for when Wyatt gets home from work, search and apply for jobs, rewrite and rewrite (and rewrite!) cover letter after cover letter, watch HGTV and Food network, figure out which wedding pictures we need to order, continue to figure out how to best organize all the stuff we have crammed into our little apartment…the list goes on and on…
But at night, when Wyatt’s struggling to keep his eyes open while we get ready for bed, I’m still wide awake and ready to go.
And it doesn’t help to say, “Hey, honey, I’m not tired,” because by that point he’s so tired he’s not at all helpful in problem solving. Last night he suggested I go watch TV, and when I disagreed with that idea, he said, “Why don’t you read?”
And then he fell asleep.
Which is fine. Really, it is.
He’s tired, and I get that he needs to go to bed so he can get up and go to work. But I get up when he gets up every day. And while I don’t have to shower and get dressed right away, I make his lunch and try to make sure he doesn’t forget it on his way out the door. (That happens more than you’d think, dangit!)
So I guess my problem is this: Now not only do we need to learn to be comfortable with the other of us in the bed, we have to figure out how to get our sleep schedules in the same time zone.
Last night I just listened to him breathing for awhile, amazed at how fast he drifted off, blessed by how peaceful he sounded, amazed that he was really there, sleeping there beside me (I know it’s been three months, but I still grin in joy every night when we climb into bed, surprised this married part of our journey finally began).
And that seemed to work, because I don’t remember a lot after those thoughts except the sound of his breathing, heavy, but not quite a snore (thankfully!) and I woke up at 5 am this morning feeling wide awake. (I eventually fell back asleep and woke up again, super sleepy, at 7, when I had to give Wyatt a “Yay-it’s-Friday” pep talk to push him out of bed and into the shower.
What do you think? Will we ever get used to this? I know you other newlywed wives feel my pain. What do the husbands think? Is this just a wife problem? Because Wyatt says he doesn’t sleep well, but he seems to be doing pretty well to me. How do you cope? Separate bedtimes? Separate beds?!? And what about those that have been married for a long time…advice please!
First of all, I took the weekend off from blogging, and most technology in general, if you haven’t already noticed. (And I’m sure you have.)
Second of all, I’ve come to realize that Wyatt and I need those times where we simply chill out and do pretty much nothing for a couple of days. That is the brilliant bliss of a great low-key weekend.
Now, I also need to be honest with everyone and admit that this is not a realization I’ve come to quickly or calmly. In fact, I’ve wasted many a weekend nights just pouting away because we weren’t doing “anything.”
I’m a busy person. I like to go places and do stuff. I like to be out and about. And Wyatt likes those things too, but he’s also happy to just chill out.
I guess I’m just so used to the mindset I had when we were dating, that we needed to take advantage of everything we could possibly squeeze into the short time we had together. And back then (how cool is it to say “back then” about dating?) we really didn’t have very much time together. Since we were in a long-distance relationship for so long, we usually had only one night a week together, maybe two if we were lucky, and that wasn’t enough time to just “waste” by sitting around on the couch watching a bad movie or stupid TV show.
But, hello! We’re married now. We’re together all the time!
(Well, not all the time, because during the day, he’s at work. Man, I wish I was at work, at least some of the time!)
And last night, after I was a bit pouty for the middle of the afternoon, Wyatt somehow managed to snap me out of it, and we ended up having a great time “doing nothing” on the couch all night. We treated ourselves, or rather I suggested Wyatt treat himself, to Taco Bell since he’s been dying to get his hands on a double XL chalupa. And then later, we had cake, of course, since I’ve been baking like crazy lately.
And we switched back and forth from watching Halloween Wars on Food network and the Cardinals game (World Series, woohoo!).
And you know what? I was happy, really happy, to just sit and “do nothing.”
Maybe it’s because I’m realizing that it’s not really “doing nothing” when we’re doing it together. Because I guess anything can be considered quality time, right? Especially now that I’m sure we’ll have another super busy weekend coming up before we know it. Maybe it’s because I’m finally getting used to the idea that we’re married and I can calm down and stop trying to cram a week full of fun stuff into one night of our weekend.
Anyway, now that I think about it, I think maybe I’m just a bit crazy about the whole thing anyway. Because we really did quite a bit this weekend. (It makes me wonder why on earth I get bent out of shape when Wyatt wants to just sit and watch TV! But hey, I guess it helps that I know I have a problem, right? Admitting is the first step of healing?)
So just to fill you in, I’ll give you a brief update of what went down with us this weekend. And then you tell me if I’m obsessive about my weekends? (Ok, I know I am, but you can offer advice as to how to get me to chill out?
- Wyatt got home from work, I made tater tot casserole. We watched FRIENDS, ate cake, did a little garage sale planning, and then went to bed early (we’re newlyweds, after all!).
- I got up and made waffles, bacon, coffee, and hot tea. Wyatt managed to drag himself out of bed to eat with me, and we watched some cartoons. (His choice.)
- We got dressed, got out, and went garage saling. (sailing?) We went to probably at least 10-12 different houses, spent $10.25, and got 10 books (mostly hardbacks!), a gift for a friend, a Christmas gift, and something for our Halloween costumes. Score! I love how much it feels like a treasure hunt, from looking around for signs and houses, to sorting through all the ridiculous crap people put out for sale, I love it all!
- We came home and had leftover tater tot casserole. Yum.
- Wyatt cleaned the dirty spots on our carpet from before we had the rug outside the door.
- I baked cupcakes and cookies while we watched the soccer game! Sporting KC is in the playoffs! (An extra yay for both of our teams doing well!)
- We left for a friend’s house to celebrate the game with a bonfire and chili night with people we don’t see nearly as often as we’d like. All in all, a great day.
- We got up early and visited my Aunt and Uncle’s church. (We’re still looking for a church “home.”) It was good to see them, of course, and meet some new people there. It was a nice, refreshing morning.
- Came home and cleaned the floors and counter tops, as well as finished picking up the laundry we’d been folding and putting away. I also scrubbed those little metal dish things that go under the burners on our stove. Wyatt was playing video games for this part of the day.
- Wyatt’s parents and grandparents came to visit us on their way home from their vacation. It was fun for them to get to see our apartment and hear about their trip. (They went to an auction and saw a bull sell for $50,000!)
- Wyatt and I ate the last of the tater tot casserole, good thing we love that stuff, and went shopping. He bought the gifts for his secret “boo pal” at work (the Halloween version of secret Santa) and a new pair of jeans. We also got a few groceries, and the previously mentioned Taco Bell.
- We ate cake and watched the Cardinals dominate the Brewers to get in the World Series and some pretty awesome pumpkin carving on Food network before heading to bed.
After all that, you’d probably think I’m crazy to think we didn’t do enough this weekend. And actually, I would, too.
I’m proud to say that I’m being the best little housewife I can be, despite being frustrated about still not having a job. Yes, I’m sometimes bored, and yes, I sometimes get discouraged, (I got rejected for another job yesterday) but I’m turning into quite the little chef.
(P.S. I love “my” knives (Wyatt was the one that really wanted them) that we got from Wyatt’s coworkers. Thanks!)
Anyway, I have this sort of fear that no matter what I cook, and no matter how bad it tastes, Wyatt will eat it just to make me feel better. Maybe that’s not true. Maybe he would refuse to eat it if he really hated it, but since it hasn’t happened yet, I’m still unsure.
So I got the idea from several cooking blogs I’ve been browsing to try a new recipe. Ice Cream Bread.
It sounds kind of delicious, and kind of weird.
But I love ice cream, and I love bread, so I tried it.
It’s the easiest recipe ever:
2 cups of whatever ice cream flavor you want (We used chocolate peanut butter)
1 1/2 cups of self-rising flour.
Mix together and bake in a loaf pan (or muffin pans) for 30 minutes at 350 degrees, depending on your oven settings and the size of your pan.
Unfortunately, it didn’t taste as good as it sounded. Or smelled. (Because it smelled like peanut butter cookies.)
And since I still don’t have a loaf pan, I used muffin tins and cupcake wraps for my “ice cream muffins.”
And when they were done baking, and cooling on my table, I began to suspect that they weren’t going to be as good as I thought. They looked a little dry, a little too much like bread and too little like ice cream.
And they were okay, just not good. So far, we’ve eaten all the ones with sugar (I brought them over to my Aunt’s house yesterday to let them try them). They had the same opinion as Wyatt and I did. They were just okay. And I’m not sure what we’re going to do with the rest of them…
But that’s okay, because I learned that Wyatt has been honest about my food so far, because he certainly didn’t tell me he loved this.
Which is fine. (Especially because I didn’t like it either.) I want to make things he likes to eat. And I really would want to know if he didn’t like something.
And while he didn’t spit it out or choke on it, he certainly didn’t ask for more. So I’ll take that as a sign that he’s liked everything else, and put this on my list of foods to never make again.
And that’s okay, because I have my eye on a pumpkin cupcake recipe I’m going to try next. Yum.
To recap, I stay home all day in our little one bedroom apartment. I’m looking for work, with no luck yet, and more often than not, I’m bored. Yup, I said it. I admit it. After a jam-packed and turbo-tracked college career of a double major in three years, I now have nothing to do but cook, clean, and search for work.
So yea, I’m a bit bored.
Yesterday at my most bored time of day (2-3pm), I got an email. (woohoo!)
As a newlywed, I’m subscribed to thenest.com’s email newsletter. It’s a cute little website with all sorts of resources for newlyweds like me (and maybe you if you’re reading this!). But this one in particular seemed to border on the “crazy-girl” side of things.
It seemed innocent enough. It was about babies, as many of the emails are. And babies are cute and sweet, right?
(at least in this case…)
Because this email wanted me to upload pictures of my hubby and I to get a picture of what our future baby will look like!
If I’ve learned anything from movies like “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days,” and “He’s Just Not That Into You,” it’s that doing something like that is the easiest and fastest way to freak out whatever guy you’re trying to convince to have a baby with you in the first place.
Let’s face it.
Most guys think babies look funny, smell funny, and cost a lot. (All of which are a little true, or a lot true, if we’re all honest here.)
So showing them a picture of your future hypothetical baby? Not the best turn on you could come up with.
Don’t get me wrong. I want babies. My husband wants babies. Just not right now. And I agree.
So why was I itching to push that button and upload my images?
Does it mean I’m secretly one of those girls?
Does it mean I have “baby fever”?
I’m going to go with the idea that it’s just because I’m so bored here by myself.
And…I’m going to post the link. Just in case you are tempted too.
So let me know what your babies will look like, because I KNOW not all of you will be able to resist the temptation.
Or at least I hope so, because I’m still holding out on giving in, but I’d really like something new to look at around 2:00 today.
I’m not sure if it’s because of the amazing weather today or the fact that it’s Fall and I always get vacation fever this time of year. Maybe it’s because I saw some fun pictures from a trip my best friend and her boyfriend just took to D.C.
But I want to go on a trip, dangit.
Fortunately, I’m (sadly, still!) not working, so having the time is not a problem for me.
Unfortunately, Wyatt (thankfully) is working, and thus, can’t take off so soon after we took our honeymoon.
And then of course, there’s the fact that trips cost money, and well, we’re trying to save all we can right now.
But I don’t care. I want to go somewhere. Somewhere fun.
But alas, Wyatt has to go to work tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. And I have to look for a job tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that…
So I guess for now I’ll settle for a drive in the city. And since the city still doesn’t feel like my “real” home, maybe that will do something to help cure my vacation blues. And hey, then we’ll get to come home and sleep in our own bed in our own apartment, which is definitely where I feel most at home, and thus is better than any hotel, vacation or not, right?
Since I’m still not working, I’ve been doing my best to be the very best housewife I can be. So usually, I have dinner almost ready or waiting when Wyatt gets home from work at 5:30.
But the last two nights, I’ve done a lot more in-depth meals. So Wyatt had to help when he got home. Luckily, he doesn’t mind.
Tonight we had pasta with pan-fried chicken that I finished cooking in a tomato basil meat sauce. Then, my favorite part of the meal: fried eggplant. Yum.
My grandma gave us a bunch of produce, including 2 big eggplants. And my favorite way to eat eggplant is fried in eggs and cracker crumbs.
Wyatt got put in charge of the frying since he hadn’t done it before and I could easily tell him what to do, and I set to work making the sauce with no recipe. A little hamburger, diced tomatos, basil, oregano, sauteed onions, and lemon pepper seasoning.
We ate the entire eggplant by ourselves. For sure not the healthiest meal we could have stuffed down.
And now that we’re done eating, we’re sitting here on the loveseat watching tv. Wyatt’s trying to figure out a move in our Words with Friends game (I’m currently smoking him). And I’m thinking to myself that this is the way we spend too many of our nights.
We have a great dinner, do all the dishes, and then just chill out. Sure, sometime we take a walk, or go to the store. But usually, we just stay in. And it isn’t like we can do yard work or home repair projects.
(I need to pause and tell you that Wyatt looked up from his phone and is so bored that he felt the need to reach over and touch the fingerprint scanner on my laptop, which brings up and annoying window that blocks my screen. Thanks, honey.)
Anyway, I guess my problem is that I just feel we’re sort of, well, lame. Is it okay to sit and do nothing at night? Should we be more hip and happening? I’m so used to the busy schedule I had during high school and college that it’s hard for me to get used to this “doing nothing” thing.
What is the best sort of after dinner entertainment, anyway?