Posts Tagged With: Dreams

What Moves Me

Well, guys, we’re all moved.

Notice I didn’t say “moved in.”

…as that would imply that we had everything unpacked, organized and put away.

But that is not the case. Not the case at all.

In fact, we are simply settling in to our new definition of crazy.

Before, we were going crazy because we were living out of two homes, neither of which really felt like home because of all the boxes and messes and tools and paint cans and such. Now, we have one home that definitely feels like home, but it also looks like a giant mess.

That’s progress, though, right?

I want to focus today on some happier things, so I’m going to tell you some of the special things in life that move me. You know, the things that get me up in the morning and inspired to be my best.

1. Hubs. For one thing, the fact that he gets up every morning to go to work and provide for our little family is enough to inspire all sorts of love, respect, admiration and devotion. For another thing, he’s just so stinkin’ cute and smart and awesome that I get all giddy when I stop and think about how blessed I am to be married to my best friend.

2. Our new house. Yes, there’s so much more to do, and yes, I often feel overwhelmed and like I have no idea where to start to get it all done, but I’m just so darn happy we have this lovely place to live that all that really pales in comparison. I can’t wait to get it all fixed up so I can just relax and enjoy our home together.

3. Thoughts of being a “real” writer. I’m a freelance writer. So I work from home, usually on our couch. Today, because we are now at the new house with no internet, I’d working from a close-by Panera. And as of yet, I’ve been able to refrain from purchasing something from the pastry display that’s taunting me with every glance up from my screen. Still, having to come here today in order to get some work done is a blessing more than a curse because it means I have an assignment that I’m working on…and that’s a good thing.

4. Big dreams. Yea, I have them. I want our home to be lovely and neat and clean and ready to welcome friends and family as soon as possible. I also already imagine decorating nurseries, an office, a guest room, and watching our future kiddos play on the patio. I know those things are a long way off, but I enjoy dreaming about them just the same!

5. My ring. It’s sparkly and it makes me happy. Happy Melissa works harder and better than salty Melissa.

6. The Applebee’s Blondie that’s sitting in my fridge waiting for the perfect moment to be eaten in our new home.

7. The thought of never-before-ran-by-me sidewalks all around our new house. I see a high-mileage fall in my future. If this heat ever gives way to some cooler/safer temperatures.

8. A God who forgives me when I’m ungrateful for life’s blessings, too quick to judge, too slow to forgive, and too full of myself and my fears to rely on his timing and His plans for my life.

Well, that’s enough inspiration for now. I’m off to get some actual work done, even though sitting here thinking about all that I’m thankful for in my life is much more fun…and having a reason to get up and get moving is always a good thing, even though moving in is proving to be a work in progress still.

Your turn! Tell me what moves you, whether that means physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually! Let’s here it!

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Categories: Everyday Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The 10 Best Things About Being a Newlywed

I’ve had some time to think about marriage recently, and I’ve compiled a list that I thought was important enough to share with all of you. Ready? Let’s go.

(Note: This list is not at all intended to be taken totally seriously, unless of course, you are a newlywed, or can remember being one, and thus, you can remember the complicated sense of annoyed-joy that goes along with many of these “bests.”)

(Another note. If written sarcasm gives you trouble, and it does for a lot of us, then here’s a hint: most of this is written with the sarcastic undertones of a writer who has had an incredibly frustrating day, and yet is trying desperately to cling to the optimistic, happy bursts of energy that get me through each day.)

1. It’s awesome how poor newlyweds are! I love that the most extravagant splurge we make each week is deciding which low-to-moderately-priced restaurant we want to eat at for the one meal each week that we budget not eating at home for. This makes it incredibly easy to explore all the coolest and hippest places in this great big city that we call home.

2. Hand-me-down furniture matches so well! Luckily, my style is pretty eclectic so I actually like a lot of the pieces we’re slowly starting to collect. However, Hubs isn’t so lucky. He typically likes things more sleek and modern. Not something that’s easy to find at thrift shops, garage sales, and in our parents’ basements.

3. Sharing a bathroom for the first time with a member of the opposite sex isn’t at all awkward! We live in a one bedroom apartment with one bathroom. There’s not a lot of sound-proofing, or smell-proofing, that goes along with a situation like that. Oh, and there’s long hairs on nearly every surface in there, no matter how often I try to clean them up. I’m sure Hubs is wondering how there’s still any hair left on my head after I’ve shed all over everything for the past year.

4. Sleeping in the same bed with someone for the first time after 20+ years of not sharing the covers is such an easy adjustment to make! You guys that have been married for a bunch of years don’t fight over the sheets, talk in your sleep, kick each other in the shins, accidentally put an elbow in someone’s ear or eye in the middle of the night, or blow morning breath in each others’ faces often enough. You should try doing all those things again. It will really help rekindle the romance in your lives, I’m sure of it. It also helps you be super sweet to each other when a fight breaks out after a bad night’s sleep.

5. People expect us to start having kids any day now, which is awesome. I love dreaming about the future, but I also like sleeping through the night and not spending hundreds of dollars on diapers every month. See numbers 1 and 4 if you need clarification on those two things again.

6. We get to experience a whole bunch of new things all the time that make us grumpy. When you’ve only lived together a short time, it’s easy to always find new ways to annoy each other. We’re learning how to avoid these things, but there are bound to be plenty of more new fights before we’ve “had them all.”

7. It’s acceptable to be lovely-dovey in public. Nothing says “I love you,” like a bold pat on the tushie or a big kiss while waiting in line at the grocery store.

8. Almost all of our photos are professionally taken, so they look great. We don’t have any kids so almost all of our photo frames are full of pictures of us. Most of those were taken on our wedding day. They are beautiful, but I wonder how long it’s acceptable to only display photos of our wedding in our home.

9. Almost all recipes require a special trip to the store because we don’t have a built-up pantry. I love finding awesome recipes I want to make that night and then realizing we don’t have like half of the ingredients!

10. None of these other things really matter that much because marriage is a journey that I’m happy to be on with my best friend. Yes, we fight, and yes we have some unfortunate moments. But, overall, I’d say that we’ve learned more than we ever planned to, and love each other more now than we did before. We’re patient, most of the time, and happy, almost all of the time, too, so there’s really nothing to complain about.

And about the other nine items on my list? We’ll get through them. But if you have advice, we’d love to hear it!

Categories: Lessons | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

“W”ishes and worries

We’re young and in love.

(It’s all very romantic, sounding, huh?)

And while it’s true that this young love is happy and exciting and sweet and full of hope for the future, it’s also scary and frustrating and a lot of hard work.

Don’t get me wrong, we have big dreams and hopes for our future together.

But we also have bills and big questions and a budget to follow that seems to get smaller every week instead of bigger.

I’ve decided it’s a fine line between wishes and worry.

See, wishes often lead to worry, and the other way around, or at least, they seem to.

For example, when we wish for a house with a big yard, we start to worry about the cost of that yard and paying a bigger mortgage.

It’s not a crippling sense of worry, or a high level of fear. It’s all about a balance.

In fact, the worries help keep me grounded.

Because when I wish for a house with a big yard, I start to yearn for acreage and a pond with a long driveway away from the road and away from neighbors.

And that’s not realistic.

Because yes, it’s free to dream, but no, I shouldn’t focus on things we can’t have because it will make me less likely to be happy with what we find.

But, the wishes are important, because they keep my heart happy when I think about the future. Thinking about the practical things, our needs, usually leads me to dream about the future and how things will be different and better for us as we grow and learn and change and have a family.

So really, it’s all about taking one with the other. I’m a worrier and a wisher, I guess.

Which isn’t such a bad thing if it leads to making better decisions right now for a better future tomorrow. Which will help us get to the future happier, healthier and hopefully with more money in our piggy banks.

You know, the traditional storybook ending.

And living happily ever after, is all we ever really wanted, anyway, right?

What about you? Are you a worrier or a wisher? 

Categories: Everyday Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Thoughts on bed and bedtime…

This morning I did NOT want to get out of bed.

I suspect these reasons as to why.

1. It was cold in our apartment and warm in the bed. You do the math.

2. It’s Monday morning and I have a mountain of weekend laundry to do.

3. I have 2 suitcases, 1 little bag, 2 big bags, 1 crate, and 1 box of stuff to put away or figure out what to do with that we brought back with us.

4. I have a slight nagging headache right above my eyes.

Or, the real reason I suspect…

5. We’d been away from home for 4 nights, and there’s no place like your own bed to curl up and get a good night’s sleep. Yes, we’re still sometimes having trouble sleeping together. And yes, I always sleep well in my parents’ house because it will always be my first home.

But there’s something so great about your own bed.

This bed frame is borrowed from a family member, and we're very thankful.

True, this was Wyatt’s bed (mattress) before it was mine, and someday we’ll have a different one when it’s time to replace it. But I’m sure that future bed will feel the same way. It’s familiar and comforting, and it’s shared, which makes all the difference, doesn’t it?

I’ll admit I used to roll my eyes at my parents when they’d say how much they missed their bed on vacation. I figured it was because they were older and had aches and pains when they had to sleep in a different bed. Now, I’m sure that’s true, because we’ve experienced some of that, but I think it’s more than that. I think it’s because they’re married.

Sharing a bed with someone is such an intimate thing. And I don’t just mean because of the sexy activities that go on there. I mean the kind of intimacy that comes from being vulnerable, real, raw, and honest with someone.

Think about it. When you’re sleeping, you’re basically defenseless. No one sleeps well with something they don’t trust because you can never fully relax. And when you go to bed, usually you’re wearing some sort of comfortable clothing, and usually, nothing that ads to your physical features in a flattering way. Makeup is washed off, hair is a mess, and there’s no pretending or dressing up. Also, when you’re sleeping, you don’t have total control over your own body. Sometimes noises happen: snoring, sighing, sleep talking…or other noises that might also have accompanying smells.

Some might say that sleeping is the only time we’re really ourselves. And who else can you be yourself with if not your spouse?

Plus, we all have those little patterns and routines we go through when we’re getting ready for bed. Being away from home disrupts those.

And what about the way that absence tends to make the heart grow fonder? If you never leave home, you’ll never know how great you have it with your own bed. Sure, we love the fact that our queen-sized bed has enough room for us to roll around and our feet don’t hang off the end at all, but until we spend 4 nights in a full-sized bed, we forget how great those extra few inches are.

I’m also talking about the sweet little moments that happen before we fall asleep. Whispered “I love you’s,” talking about our day, the next day, telling each other a funny dream we’ve had, putting my freezing cold feet on Wyatt’s legs to warm up my toes, snuggling, cuddling, and even praying together before we roll over to fall asleep.

Can we do all those things in another bed? Sure. Do we? Sometimes. But is it ever the same as being at home?

Of course not.

And for that reason, I think we’ll celebrate being at home tonight by staying in and going to bed early. The crazy holiday season is coming. I recommend you take some time to yourself and rediscover your love for your bed, and for bedtime.

On the shelves in our bedroom. Yes, I've been known to frame product packaging (left) and magazine advertisements (center) that I like. And the gift I made and gave my bridesmaids on the right.

But the message is still the same.

Very insightful, I know. You can take the meaning to mean what you will. I think it has all sorts of applications.

But if nothing else, at least take this suggestion instead.

The mirror we made. Kissing goodnight is better than saying it. Of course.

Categories: Love Stuff | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

“Would you let me go to space?”

This post is proof that in marriage, an in-depth conversation or potential argument can come from anywhere.

Last night as we were sitting in our living room watching TV, we were switching back and forth from watching my beloved Cardinals and The Big Bang Theory. (We don’t watch it because we believe that’s the way the universe began, we watch it because we both enjoy the awkward comedy from the socially uncomfortable scientists.)

Anyway, on this particular episode, Howard gets invited to go into space, but his girlfriend (or is it is fiance? I’ve lost track) gets scared, freaks out, and tells him he can’t go. At the next commercial break, Wyatt turns to me and asks, seemingly innocent enough, “Would you let me go to space?”

Um…

Well…

Hmmm…

Clearly, I didn’t know what to say. Because at a moment like this, it’s a toss-up between wanting to be the excited wife who supports her husband in his dreams and quirks, and being the practical wife that knows how dangerous it would be so she says, “heck no!” and ends the conversation while crushing his hopes and dreams.

Hence my response:

“Well, I guess it would depend on why you wanted to, why you were given the opportunity, and how it was all going to work out, but overall, I’d have to lean toward…no.”

His eyes widened in surprise, (or was it mock surprise?) because let’s face it, this was a test and we both knew it. And he knows me well enough to know that was probably going to be my response.

So we talked about it some more.

And of course, I presented my fears about how dangerous it was, and his eyes glowed with how awesome it would be. (I agree, can you image the crazy, out-of-this-world view? Ok, bad pun, but still…)

At one point, he said, “How many people get to go to space?”

To which I responded, “Not that many, that’s why the percentage of those that don’t come back is so big!”

He even laughingly suggested we both go to space, so if anything happens, we’d go together! And while I’m all for Shakespeare, that doesn’t mean I want a dramatic Romeo and Juliet twist to our love story.

Now, of course, this was all in good fun. It isn’t like space travel has been a long-time dream of his, and we both know he isn’t likely to get invited to go to space any time soon, or ever, even. But there are other ways this type of situation can be presented, and it comes down to the question of whether the call of adventure or the reins of reality win out.

Don’t get me wrong, I like adventure. I was VERY tempted to go skydiving last Fall with coworkers from Missouri Life magazine. But in the end, I decided I just wasn’t ready to take that jump.

I mean, there’s danger in every situation. I’m well aware. I fell down at college once while I was running and still have the scars from the sidewalk to prove it. I had a car accident when I was sixteen and rolled my little SUV two and a half times.

But that doesn’t mean I’m going to seek out dangerous situations. In fact, I think those things make me want to do the opposite. That’s one reason I have such respect and admiration for military, firefighter, and law enforcement families. It’s a scary world out there. How do you find the balance between finding adventures and staying safe?

What do you think? Are there things you’re afraid to do? What about things you’re afraid for your loved ones to do? How can a wife be supportive and level-headed when confronted with a real-life situation like our TV-inspired scenario?

Categories: Adventures | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Whose side of the bed is it anyway?

I think Wyatt has only had one or two nights of “good” sleep since we’ve been married. I’ve had more than that I’d say, but not many.

I mean, we like sleeping together, and we’re getting used to which positions make him snore more, keep my feet warmest, help his shoulder not hurt as bad, etc.

But overall, we wake up and roll around a lot. I’m sure part of it is that we each used to wake up and roll over a couple of times a night, but now we both wake up whenever the other wakes up, so we’re waking up twice as much as we used to.

And that’s just regular wake ups. Add in the ones where my neck gets cramped up or his shoulder starts to hurt and sometimes it seems we’re waking up more than we’re sleeping!

So in an attempt to solve this problem, we switched sides of the bed. Before we were married, I didn’t have a side of the bed, because I had always slept in a twin, and I slept on both sides, depending on my mood or whatever felt the most comfortable, so the whole bed was “my side.”

Wyatt used to lay across the middle of his queen-size bed (go figure, right?) but his head was more to the left. Now, though, he’s been sleeping on the right side of the bed. That’s the side his dresser is on, so he says it makes more sense. I agree, but I don’t think it would be that bad of a deal if he had to walk around the bed to get his socks every morning. He gets up and goes to the shower first anyway, so it isn’t like he gets his things on the way by when he first gets out of bed and then never goes back over there…whatever, I digress.

Anyway, like I said before, we switched sides for one night. (Spoiler alert: it didn’t help.)

To start out, it took us even longer than usual to get calmed down, settled in, and comfortable than it usually does, I assume because we’ve already gotten used to the other sides. Plus, this position made me be the “big spoon” and I don’t like to be the big spoon. The reason it’s so great to be the small spoon is because Wyatt is like a personal heater and he keeps my back and neck all warm and toasty. So, while I’m willing to hug him every now and then (or even finish sleeping that way in the morning) I like to exercise my right as the woman (though I’m not that much “smaller” than Wyatt) to be the small spoon, which this switching arrangement did not allow me to be. And once we were finally asleep, we woke up the exact same amount I’d say, if not more.

So I don’t think we’ll be trying that again, at least not for the purpose of sleeping better. Maybe if we feel our lives are getting a little dull and we need to shake things up, but overall, I’d say it wasn’t a success.

Does this mean we’ve “switched” sides of the bed, or rather that Wyatt has? If so, that’s interesting, because I didn’t know that was possible. I thought it was a once a right-sider, always a right-sider sort of thing.

Does this mean that we’re three months into marriage and still not used to sleeping together? Maybe.

And I guess that’s ok, because we like going to bed together, and waking up together, it’s just the part in the middle that we seem to be having trouble with.

And don’t even get me started on the things he says in his sleep. Sometimes I’m stuck lying awake at night just trying not to laugh! Unfortunately, usually I’m so sleepy, too, that I don’t remember the details to share with you guys the next morning. Maybe I should keep a notepad by the bed to write them down in the night like some people do with their dreams.

He might not like that so much…but it’d sure make a great read for you!

Anyway, I’m heading to bed, wish me luck!

Categories: Laughs | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

October 9th…A look back, and forward.

October 9th has always been a special day to us. Seven years ago today, Wyatt asked me to be his girlfriend on a school bus on the way home from a Worlds of Fun trip. I was fifteen.

It seems crazy that I’m now twenty-two and I woke up next to him this morning. (Actually, I woke up, got up, made breakfast, and then went to wake him up. And he said, ” I’m just finishing.” “Finishing what, honey?, I asked” “Making stuff.” “What?” *pause* *sigh* “Nothing.” He’s so funny when he’s sleep talking.)

Wow, isn’t it amazing how life works out?

The story of that day is actually sort of interesting. Because we had a pretty big fight that day that almost ruined the whole trip. And ruined us before we started.

It all happened when we were getting on the Detonator. It was Wyatt, me, and two of our friends. The guy working the ride sat the two girls together and the two guys together. Then he must have realized his mistake and asked me, “Do you want to sit with your boyfriend?”

(Now, at this point, I should say that he was a young guy, probably a few years older than us. And that it was windy, and that Wyatt wasn’t sitting right by me.)

But my response, and I will always stand by this, is that I said, a little forcefully, and annoyed, hoping Wyatt might hear me, but also just venting my frustration that nothing had happened between us yet, “He’s not my boyfriend…Yet!”

But, as if we were in a movie, Wyatt heard, “He’s not my boyfriend,” and completely shut off his ears in anger.

Needless to say, he was pretty cold for the next few hours. No hand holding, no smiling, no walking by me. Nothing. Ouch.

I, of course, had no idea what was wrong. And being a fifteen-year-old girl with a relationship at stake, I was freaking out a little bit. Until I couldn’t stand it any longer and started begging him to tell me what was wrong.

And after asking him several (ok, a lot more than several) times, we snuck off by ourselves to ride the Ferris Wheel and we finally talked.

He told me his side of the story. I told him mine. And I insisted and insisted.

But he STILL (to this day!) doesn’t believe I said the word “yet.”

Good grief.

Anyway, we managed to make up, and the rest of the day went better. And the rest of our lives.

I still can’t believe we made it through all that high school stuff. Then college stuff, the break up, getting back together…

It’s crazy to me that I found the person I was going to marry before I was even old enough to drive. I mean, who does that? Not very many people. Trust me, I know. People told me that all the time. They still look at me in surprise, (or concern?) when I tell them we were high school sweethearts. I know it doesn’t happen for most people.

It’s certainly going to make it hard if we have a daughter who thinks she’s fallen head over heels in love with a boy when she’s just a young teenager. What am I going to tell her? “Honey, just be careful. It isn’t likely you’re going to stay with him forever.”

Cause then she’ll wine and say, “Mooooom, but you did!”

I can feel the headache and forehead wrinkles coming on now.

(Of course, none of that will matter because Wyatt says we’re having all boys.)

Anyway, I don’t care if we’re not “supposed” to care about this day anymore now that we have a “real” anniversary to celebrate in July.

It’s always been special to us, and I think it always will be. Actually, October in general is special, (more on that around the 29th!) so we’re going to celebrate.

So, here’s to looking back and counting our blessings. And here’s to looking forward and dreaming about the future together.

It doesn’t seem like so long ago…

Day number one. Seven years ago.

Categories: Love Stuff | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Have (tiny) kitchen, Will cook.

I’m sitting here on the couch on a Friday morning, and I’m happy for lots of reasons. It’s almost the weekend, it’s a great Fall day, I’m feeling better after being a little under the weather yesterday, and I woke up planning my run for today. Plus the fact that I got a nice kiss from husband on his way out the door.

But I’m also bummed for several other reasons.

Let’s face it. I have no job. And as someone who has worked since I was twelve, or younger, I feel pretty worthless when my husband leaves for work every morning and I have nowhere to go.

I’m a creative person, and my dream is to work for a magazine. There’s something so magical about the way words and photographs work together on the high-gloss pages to tell an amazing story.

So since I have no outlet for my magazine dreams right now, or even somewhere to feel like I’m being useful (I’ve even applied for part-time retail positions, apparently, no one wants to hire me, I’m either way too inexperienced or have a little too much college degree. Stupid job requirements.), I have turned to cooking.

I love our little apartment, but our kitchen is SMALL.

Nevertheless, whether to impress and feed my husband or to help cheer myself up and give me something to do, I’ve been cooking a lot. And luckily, you guys give me someone to share my cooking adventures with. And you aren’t here to see the mess I make off the approximate 6 square feet of counter space, divided into four tiny spaces.

This week I tackled another package of ground beef (our parents, who are both cattle farmers, keep us supplied with hamburger) and decided to find a recipe for some sort of “gourmet” burgers.

I ended up deciding on feta stuffed burgers, but, as usual, I tweaked the recipe a little bit.

This is how it was originally and I’m sure it would have been tasty, but I know Wyatt likes his food super flavorful, (his biggest complaint is usually, “it doesn’t have a TON of flavor…”) so I decided to up the ingredients a little bit.

I more than doubled the Worcestershire sauce, and after tasting the burgers, I could have added even more.

This is how I ended up making it.

Ingredients

  • 1 pound lean ground beef
  • 2 tsps Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 tsp dried parsley
  • 1 tsp dried chives
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
  • 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
  • Italian grill seasoning salt 

Directions

  1. Knead the ground beef, Worcestershire sauce, parsley, chives, salt, and pepper together in a bowl.
  2. Form the mixture into 8 equal-sized balls; flatten to make thin patties.
  3. Sprinkle a quarter of the cheese mixture on four of the patties.
  4. Top each of those patties with another equal sized patty and press the edges together firmly to seal.
  5. Cook each patty on a preheated skillet, seasoning each side with the Italian seasoning salt.

    Making the patties was fun. I'd never done anything like this before. I was afraid the cheese would melt and come out all over the pan.

And just like the meatballs I made, I had fun using my hands to put everything together. It’s like playing, but it’s cooking. Talk about creativity. (And because of you guys, I also get to write about it, so not all is lost!)

Also, I took Rachel Ray’s tip (Thank you, Food Network) of making a little bowl shape in my hamburgers to help them cook more evenly. (When you cook hamburgers, usually they puff up and make a round top and bottom. But, by making a dent, when they puff up, they end up flatter)

Mmm...smells good! Cook faster please!

I was also making steamed vegetables, which I love. (We eat those a lot. I’m not sure yet if Wyatt really likes them or if he just eats them to make me feel better.)

And when Wyatt got home from work, he jumped right in to help me (such a good husband) and made some fried potatoes.

Almost ready to eat! The only thing that would make these better is if they were cooked on the grill. Maybe we'll break out our little grill this weekend...

It’s hard to imagine since I don’t have a picture of it, but our kitchen counters are SUPER messy right about this time of every night. And our whole apartment takes on the smell of whatever we’re cooking since our oven vent fan doesn’t vent outside, it just sucks air in and then blows it back out into the room.

Yum. I added tomatoes, lettuce, and even toasted and buttered the buns.

And of course, the whole meal was delicious and super filling.

Time to eat please!

And at this time of night, I usually relax, and start to really feel better about my life. I have good food, a happy home, and a husband who loves me. So, even with no job, I get the feeling that my cup really does runneth over.

Plus, it’s hard to be bummed out with a full belly.

Full and happy. I may not have a job, but I can cook!

Categories: Food Fun | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Little and Big…

As we were getting ready for bed last night, (I feel a lot of our post-worthy moments are from that time of night) I was feeling a little bummed out. I think because I was thinking about another week beginning with no job, not even close. And we were talking about this coming weekend.

I’m so excited for a good friend’s wedding on Saturday that I get to be a part of, but for some reason, I was just a little down. As I sorted out my feelings to determine the cause of my gloom, I admitted to Wyatt that I think I was just missing the fact that my wedding day was over. Forever.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t at all want to go backwards. I’m so happy to be married, and in order to be married, the wedding day has to be over. I loved our wedding, and I couldn’t have asked for it to be a better day. I have no regrets and no hard feelings. Still, I think it’s natural to reminisce about the happiest day of our lives. Which is fine, as long as you don’t obsess or start to get stuck in this gloomy sort of mood.

And that thought, that our wedding day was the happiest day of my life, is what made me start to think about why I was feeling a little bummed out.  The thought that not every day of our lives will be a “big day.” Our next big day won’t be until the birth of a child, or when we find out we’re expecting, or buying a new house.

And while I was in the middle of figuring out how to feel about that, Wyatt simply and quietly interrupted my thoughts and said, “but you can’t just look forward to all the big days, you have to live all the little days happening right now.”

Ok, he gets the award for both the sweetest and most practical pep talk.

And he’s right. I don’t want to be bummed out thinking about how great one day in our past was, or how great one day in our future will be.

To be honest, I think that’s something I’ve always struggled with. I’m super “goal-oriented” and looking forward to exciting things to come is what got me through three jam-packed, fast-forwarded years of college. But now that I’m here, living the part of my life that I’ve always looked forward to, I don’t want to miss a single moment.

So this weekend we’ll celebrate a friend’s “big day,” and celebrate the fact that we’re in this stage of “little days” where we can just relax and enjoy our little family in our little apartment.

Because bigger things are coming, and someday, we’ll have our hands full of “big stuff.” Or if Wyatt gets his way, two little-boy-bundles of “little stuff.”

Categories: Everyday Life | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Bad Dreams

For some reason Wyatt and I have been having a lot of really weird dreams lately. I think that for the last three nights in a row, one of us has rolled over to hug the other and whispered, “I had a bad dream,”  after waking up in the middle of the night.

No fun.

Well, I mean the bad dreams aren’t fun. I can’t help but smile a little bit when I realize I don’t have to try to fall back asleep alone.

One of his dreams included a too-late trip to the hospital when I went into hypothetical “dream labor” and we lost the baby before he got there. Sad.

My dream was much more weird. It involved an alien UFO that threw a weird transforming, magnetic-only-to-me blinking ball (looks a little like a toy Camo plays with) through my old bedroom window at my parents’ house and hit Wyatt in the head, and then, since it was magnetised to me, followed me to school (Smithton High School) where it caused all sorts of problems. Weird. Kind of sad also though, because there was some sort of weird death message it kept shooting out.

So, while we’d prefer to just have normal dreams to share with each other in the morning, at least we aren’t waking up alone.

That’s a marriage perk that would be enough to convince me to get married right there. Never having to sort through a bad dream “on my own” again.

Even still, I did share my secret for falling back asleep with Wyatt after he said he was too awake and bummed out to go back to sleep. My mom once helped me fall back asleep by having me reimagine the dream (which seems scary to a little kid at first) but then you “day-dream” the bad dream with a new ending, a happy ending.

I’m pretty sure Wyatt didn’t need or use my little trick, but he did fall back asleep, as was evidenced by his snores. Which, actually, helped me fall back asleep without using my little trick, too, just because I knew he was there, snoring away, and making me feel right at home. 

 

Categories: Love Stuff | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

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