Posts Tagged With: homesick

No more tears…

No this isn’t a commercial for some sort of extra gentle baby shampoo, but yes, I am talking about tears, the things that fall from our eyes when we are hurt or upset, not to be confused with tears, or rips in paper or clothing.

The English language is confusing.

Sheesh.

But I did spend my entire college career studying it…well, that and a bunch of other stuff considering I went to a private liberal arts college.

Anyway, back to my original topic…tears.

I’ve been crying a lot less than I did the first year of our marriage.

This is just a happy picture to show you I was really, in fact, happy during our first year of marriage, even though I did cry a lot. Think of the crying as small intermissions between all the happiness, ok?

Not that the first year of our marriage was sad or unhappy. Quite the contrary. I was super happy to be married to my best friend…but I also cried a lot.

Why?

Well, I’m not sure, but I’m willing to venture some guesses.

(Check out the links to see some earlier blog posts that help explain all these little ramblings!)

1. I didn’t have a job.

This was a big one for me. I’ve never really struggled with anything as much as I struggled to find a job. We didn’t need the money, but it would have been nice while trying to maintain a budget and save as much as possible for a down payment. And it certainly hurt my pride, confidence and general self-esteem to feel like a failure for so long. I went through so many stages of dealing with it: determination, hope, peace, anger, embarrassment, hope, frustration, peace, anxiety, hope, fear, anger,  disappointment…you get the idea. And though I learned a lot about gratitude and humility and trust, it was a struggle the entire time. And even though this self-employed freelance writing thing is still hard, I’m so thankful for the opportunity to do something I love and that will contribute to our finances, even just at a part-time level.

2. I was worried about finding and affording a house we loved.

We all know that worked out well for us, and that we now have the biggest project we’ve ever taken on together as a fabulous home, but for awhile, it was hard to imagine leaving our little apartment, hard to wrap my head around how much this all would cost, hard to decide where we wanted to put down real roots and raise our kiddos, hard to figure out just how much house we needed and how much project we could take on…but finding our home was a journey, that’s for sure.

3. I was hormonal.

Let’s face it, this is still true. But maybe being on the pill for over 1 1/2 years now has finally allowed my body to calm down and stop freaking out over every tiny little change in the hormone levels.

4. I was tired.

Remember our sleeping adventures, like Hubs’ sleep talking, and figuring out our sides of the bed, and our different sleep schedules? I didn’t sleep so well for the first few months of our marriage, or the first several months. I still have nights where it’s a struggle, like last night, when I was woken up by snores and then I laid there for fifteen minutes, half-asleep and nearly incoherent, before realizing it was coming from the sleeping Hubs beside me and yes, I could in fact, wake him up and tell him to roll over. After which he got a little grumpy because I was pretty persistent after not believing his half-asleep, “okay,” with no signs of movement. Anyway, when I’m tired, I get salty, and when I’m salty, I tend to cry easily. I’m sleeping better these days, for the most part, or maybe adjusting to living on less shut-eye.

5. I was homesick.

Again, I was thrilled to be married. And I loved it for that first year of newlywed-ness…but I also missed my family. And I felt a little alienated from them because there just wasn’t much opportunity for visiting (my mom doesn’t drive in the city…at all). Moving to our new house in this new neighborhood is perfect. We’re closer. Our parents can (and do!) visit more often. And the biggest part of this? This house is now HOME. Our apartment was home, too, but never in the way I feel about our house.

And that my friends is why the last few months have held far less salty, wet kisses as Hubs attempts to cheer me up, less red, swollen eyes, and much more giggles, laughs and smiles.

Not that I wasn’t giddy and happy during our first year of marriage, but settling into this married life sure feels good.

 

What about you? What was hard for you in your early married years? Do you cry a lot? Did you used to cry a lot? How did you get over it? How did your Hubs help with drying the tears? 

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Categories: Love Stuff | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Back at home

Well, guys, did you miss me?

If you did, I was missing you, too! And if not, well, I wasn’t thinking of you at all either. So there!

Just kidding.

I missed you all.

Anyway, the past 2 weeks were crazy busy for us newlyweds as we worked 12+ hour days at the fair and went crazy smelling steaks and onions at god-awful hours of the morning. I wrote more about that here. 

I also went a little crazy missing out new home.

I spent the last 2 weeks at my parents’ house, sleeping on a (rather comfy and brand new) guest room bed. Hubs was there for most of those nights, but came back to our house to go to work for three days in the middle of it all.

By the end of the two weeks, AKA yesterday afternoon, I was never so homesick in my life. I was counting down minutes and half minutes until we’d get there, ready to sleep in our own bed, see our half-painted walls, deal with the mess we left in our half-finished remodel project…and the mess Hubs made when he was here for three days without me in the middle of the week.

It was surprisingly hard to be away from this house that we’ve lived in for such a short time. I was amazed by how much it already felt like home when I had to leave it, even though we’re far from feeling “settled in” here…

And now we’re back.

And ready to get back to work!

After we rest up and get better, as we are exhausted and both seem to have come down with some sort of summer cold. Ick.

And we have internet at home!

That means I can talk to you guys while sitting at home in my jammies instead of getting dressed and driving to Panera every time I want to check my email, write a blog post, or you, know, do some actual work.

(Which is what I should be doing right now.)

So, I’m just here to say, Hi! I’ve missed you. What’s new in your life?

Now it’s your turn. Tell me what’s up!

Categories: Everyday Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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