Sleep-cheating…a confession

Well guys, I have a confession to make.

I sleep in sometimes. In fact, compared to my hard-working Hubs, I sleep in almost every day.

See, he gets up around 6:45 a.m. every day to get ready for work. He leaves around 7:05 or 7:10. (Yup, he’s quick.)

I get up when he’s finishing up getting dressed and ready. Before he heads out the door, I make his lunch and breakfast and send him on his way with a kiss.

And then do you know what I do?

I go back to bed.

Yup.

There, I said it. I admitted it.

But every morning, I feel a little guilty about it.

Sometimes I feel so guilty about it that I can’t really sleep so I just hang out there in bed, all comfy and warm and thinking about how sorry I am Hubs had to get up and go to work. Then do you know what happens? If I stay there long enough, all comfy and warm, I fall asleep.

Usually, I wake up when my alarm goes off about 45 minutes later, around 8:00. And that’s usually when I drag myself out of bed.

Sometimes, though, I sleep until 8:30 if I’m really tired. A few times, I’ve stayed in bed until 9:15.

(gasp!)

I know, I know, it’s not like I’m doing something particularly wrong, but I feel guilty that he’s running around on less sleep than me. He is, after all, the one of us who likes to sleep in the most. I have trouble staying in bed past 10:00 (on a weekend, never on a weekday), but he could snooze until noon! Or after if I brought him lunch. Maybe even without the lunch. I swear, he could sleep through an entire day and not even care about missing his meals.

Needless to say, I know he hates getting up. Every morning it goes like this.

(Alarm goes off)

Hubs hits the snooze button.

(Alarm goes off ten minutes later.)

Hubs: Unnnggghhh. I don’t wantΒ to get up.

Me: I’m sorry, honey. You have to.

Silence.

Me: Or you can call in sick or go in late…

Hubs: Unnngghh. I can’t.

And then he rolls over and gets out of bed and into the shower.

Poor guy.

It’s like I’m sleep-cheating on him when I go back to bed after he leaves.

I work from home (part time), so it’s not like I feel completely worthless. I am contributing to our family finances after all, and I do a lot around the house, too. The guilt was worse when we were first married and I didn’t have as much to do.

But I still feel guilty.

And yet, I still do it. Almost every day.

I’m torn between sleep and a clear conscious.

And the crazy thing is, he knows I go back to bed. He may be jealous but he doesn’t care. He’s never purposely made me feel guilty. It comes from me, for sure.

(Much like the way I feel about him when he drinks coffee or sweet tea in front of me. I’m jealous, but I don’t want him to miss out just because I have to…)

But the problem is, I don’t know what to do. Should I keep stealing the extra sleep time? Should I force myself to get up and started on my day when he does? Am I crazy for thinking about this so much? Does anyone else struggle with this? Am I totally on my own here?

Help!

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Categories: Everyday Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

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15 thoughts on “Sleep-cheating…a confession

  1. I totally struggle with this too! If my hubby has to work at 9, he usually gets up at 8 and I stay in bed until 10-10:30 (late, I know). I have told him that I feel bad when I do that and his response is “you work later than I do” which is true, I usually work until 11;30pm, so he’s okay with it. It still doesn’t stop me from feeling bad though. I think that you should continue to do what you are doing, especially since hubs doesn’t care. If you’re feeling particularly energetic when he gets up, I say get up then and start your day, but there’s no harm in stealing extra sleeping time πŸ™‚

    • Thanks for the support! I wish I could say that I stay up later as an excuse for my sleepiness, but that’s usually not the case, especially now that we’re in our house and I’m working some and I feel less worried all the time. I guess it’s all in what works for you as a couple, though, and I’m glad you have it figured out! Thanks for the insight!

  2. You love each other and you fill your roles as man and wife. A little extra sleep just gives you the energy to do your best. πŸ™‚ If the time is legitimately available, why not?! You’re not being lazy, I promise.

    I love sleep.

    • Ha! I love sleep, too! And I wish we could both sleep in together! But alas, we can’t. But maybe thinking about this will help me be a little nicer to him when he wants to sleep in on Saturdays…
      Thanks for the comment and the support!

  3. mom

    Well you know where I stand on this…(or should I say “lie down”)! And remember you can’t get up if you are sleeping. But if you are just lying there, you might as well get up. –mom

    • Ha! Yes, I know Dad gets up before you every day! But it’s different, you’re retired…you’re entitled to sleep in! Though I do agree, you can’t get up if you’re sleeping! πŸ™‚

  4. I also usually go back to sleep (or never really get up – just wake up) when Matt gets up on days I don’t have to drive to Warrensburg. Matt usually comments “Going back to bed?” or something about how I don’t have to get up, and that makes me feel a bit guilty, but I mostly feel guilty when I stay in bed until 9:00 and then have one less hour that I could have used to do stuff … and then I end up staying up late to do stuff I didn’t get done (or because Matt is up late) … so it’s a vicious cycle.

  5. Laura

    Considering most of the time my husband has to get up around 3am I don’t feel bad going back to sleep after he gets up! I do feel like I can’t go back to sleep after his alarm goes off though until he actually gets up and out of the bed because I worry that he will fall back to sleep and be late for work! I think I lose a lot of sleep during the week though b/c I do wake up to his alarm and it can be hard to get back to sleep sometimes!

    • I’m sure you do lose a lot of sleep…and my goodness, that’s early! I’m very thankful we aren’t dealing with that here…although I doubt I would feel guilty for going back to sleep at 3 in the morning. Hats off to you guys for making it work! And I agree about waiting for Hubs to get up because you are half-afraid to fall asleep because he might fall asleep too! πŸ™‚

  6. Hi! I’ve been reading your blog for awhile but never commented, so hi!

    My husband works FT and I actually also work part-time from home writing πŸ™‚ If you don’t mind me asking, what do you write? Do you work for a few different companies or just one? I write articles for the women’s website http://www.sheknows.com and I love it. It’s SUCH a blessing to be able to stay while still bringing in an income πŸ™‚

    So, as far as sleep…I became a stay at home wife when I was 8 months pregnant. I would get up with hubby and make his lunch, and then go back to bed normally until 9. I definitely felt no guilt since I was pregnant lol πŸ™‚ We had our baby girl in May. Now, unfortunately, I am up before him with the baby. I also get up a few times in the middle of the night with her. If she by chance is still sleeping at 6am when the hubs gets up, I alwayssss go back to bed! I sleep until she sleeps (which is 7am at the latest but once it was 9:30 and that was a gift from God haha).

    I wouldn’t feel bad if I were you πŸ™‚ Just think of it as you are sleeping in now while you can (ie before having kids). Once you have kids, you’ll probably be the one up all the time since your husband works FT and all that guilt you felt will be completely gone, haha!

    • Thanks for commenting! Welcome! I agree that it’s a huge blessing to be able to work from home, especially once we have kids. I’m looking forward to that time, but trying not to be impatient! Thanks for the advice on sleeping in, I’m feeling better about going back to bed as long as I get up and have a productive day, but I also plan to let Hubs sleep in a little longer on the weekends…
      Anyway, great to meet you.
      Oh, and I write for a business newspaper and another writer who does non-profit fundraising writing. That website looks interesting, how did you get involved there?

      • Hi! I got involved with SheKnows through a friend πŸ™‚ My bestie is an editor there so I got *totally* lucky in that she hired me to write articles for her sections (home, living, and pets) sorta whenever I wanted. Since I really enjoy it and have “proven myself” a bit, I’m able to write for a few other sections, as well, and will hopefully be starting my only column soon! They say 80% of work is who you know, not what you know, and I’m beginning to think that’s true! How did you get involved in writing for the business newspaper?

  7. Sarah, I interned for the business newspaper and then they hired me as a freelancer, which was great, although not what I expected for a career. It certainly sounds like you got a great deal with the website. I’d LOVE to have a column for something. πŸ™‚ If they need any more writers, I’d love a chance to apply.

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