Hubs and I don’t have secrets from each other.
We’re both very open anyway, and find it easy to talk to pretty much anyone, but with each other, we believe in sharing our lives, completely. It’s helped build trust in our relationship and makes us feel closer, connected, and safe, no matter what we have to talk about.
Of course, there are some exceptions…things like what I’m planning for his birthday or that I’m going to surprise him with his favorite dinner when he gets home from work, but overall, and with all the big stuff, we’re honest with each other.
If a friend says, “I’ll tell you this, but you can’t tell anyone, even Wyatt,” I’m quick to stop them and explain that I’m not comfortable with that.
Does that mean Hubs cares about the juicy gossip I hear from a friend about someone he doesn’t even know? Of course not. But if he doesn’t need to know, there’s a good chance I don’t need to know either.
And does Hubs tell me everything he does at work all day long? No, but he could if we had the time or desire to go over details like that all the time.
The fact that we don’t have secrets doesn’t mean we know everything there is to know about each other. We certainly still surprise each other every now and then.
It does mean that we don’t purposely hide anything that could be hurtful to ourselves, our marriage, or each other.
I think this has made a big difference in our relationship.
But it isn’t always easy.
Since Hubs is my very best friend and my favorite person to talk to, he’s the first one I want to tell any exciting news.
So when I found out he was getting a season ticket to all the Sporting KC games, I had a hard time keeping my mouth shut. There were several times when I had to stop myself from saying, “I have exciting news,” as I realized I couldn’t tell him that exciting news. And then he was pretty unhappy when I had to say, “Oops, never mind, honey.”
I guess thereis a downside of sharing everything…
But it’s a downside that we’re willing to live with. Total trust is totally worth it.
Your turn? Do you have any secrets? Can you keep a secret? Or is it hard to hide stuff, even things like birthday gifts, from you significant other?