Before we got married, I had this sort of idea in my head that I would learn to be a wife. And while I am learning some things, such as the best way to sort the laundry, and the fastest way to make the big bed, there’s a lot of stuff that I don’t feel like I’m learning at all.
Things like loving my husband when he “forgets” to tell me things and leaves messes everywhere. Things like being okay at home by myself for his nights with the boys. The sense of pure and complete love, appreciation, and respect I have for him every morning when he gets up so early for work. The feeling of excitement I get when I hear him opening the door after he gets home at night. The realization that this is OUR apartment, our home, our life now.
Those things I don’t think I’ve learned at all. They just, well, are. They came naturally, as if they always were a part of me, I just hadn’t discovered them yet.
And I don’t believe in soul mates. I don’t. I believe that Wyatt and I fell in love and that we work really hard at our relationship. We make compromises, sacrifices, and commitments. And underneath all that, I know that somehow we’re bound together by the love that we have for each other. Love that was inspired by the love our Father and Creator has for us.
Before I got married, before I got engaged really, I had this idea that Wyatt was my “helpmate suitable” (Gen. 2:18, 22-24). But until now, I don’t think I understood exactly what that meant. We’re not two halves to a whole, or two peas in a pod, or opposites that attracted. We’re just helpers, mates, and we were the exact ones who were suitable for each other. Not because of some cosmic connection, but because for some reason, we’re only willing to be all those things…for each other.
So really, my role in this life? It’s to be exactly that. To be my husband’s biggest fan, his toughest, and most constructive, critic, his greatest love, and most enthusiastic and steadfast supporter. Because that’s what he is for me.
And though I don’t have a job yet, and I still struggle with feelings of desperation, frustration, and a complicated sense of self-worth, I know that right now, no matter what, and forever more, I am a helpmate suitable. I am a wife.