Posts Tagged With: Lessons

Friday’s Food For Thought: 65 Years

Something short and sweet today for you guys to see, read, enjoy, and talk back to me about:

I can only hope for the blessing of 65 years of fixing our┬ábrokenness┬átogether…

Categories: Friday's Food for Thought | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

The 10 Best Things About Being a Newlywed

I’ve had some time to think about marriage recently, and I’ve compiled a list that I thought was important enough to share with all of you. Ready? Let’s go.

(Note: This list is not at all intended to be taken totally seriously, unless of course, you are a newlywed, or can remember being one, and thus, you can remember the complicated sense of annoyed-joy that goes along with many of these “bests.”)

(Another note. If written sarcasm gives you trouble, and it does for a lot of us, then here’s a hint: most of this is written with the sarcastic undertones of a writer who has had an incredibly frustrating day, and yet is trying desperately to cling to the optimistic, happy bursts of energy that get me through each day.)

1. It’s awesome how poor newlyweds are! I love that the most extravagant splurge we make each week is deciding which low-to-moderately-priced restaurant we want to eat at for the one meal each week that we budget not eating at home for. This makes it incredibly easy to explore all the coolest and hippest places in this great big city that we call home.

2. Hand-me-down furniture matches so well! Luckily, my style is pretty eclectic so I actually like a lot of the pieces we’re slowly starting to collect. However, Hubs isn’t so lucky. He typically likes things more sleek and modern. Not something that’s easy to find at thrift shops, garage sales, and in our parents’ basements.

3. Sharing a bathroom for the first time with a member of the opposite sex isn’t at all awkward! We live in a one bedroom apartment with one bathroom. There’s not a lot of sound-proofing, or smell-proofing, that goes along with a situation like that. Oh, and there’s long hairs on nearly every surface in there, no matter how often I try to clean them up. I’m sure Hubs is wondering how there’s still any hair left on my head after I’ve shed all over everything for the past year.

4. Sleeping in the same bed with someone for the first time after 20+ years of not sharing the covers is such an easy adjustment to make! You guys that have been married for a bunch of years don’t fight over the sheets, talk in your sleep, kick each other in the shins, accidentally put an elbow in someone’s ear or eye in the middle of the night, or blow morning breath in each others’ faces often enough. You should try doing all those things again. It will really help rekindle the romance in your lives, I’m sure of it. It also helps you be super sweet to each other when a fight breaks out after a bad night’s sleep.

5. People expect us to start having kids any day now, which is awesome. I love dreaming about the future, but I also like sleeping through the night and not spending hundreds of dollars on diapers every month. See numbers 1 and 4 if you need clarification on those two things again.

6. We get to experience a whole bunch of new things all the time that make us grumpy. When you’ve only lived together a short time, it’s easy to always find new ways to annoy each other. We’re learning how to avoid these things, but there are bound to be plenty of more new fights before we’ve “had them all.”

7. It’s acceptable to be lovely-dovey in public. Nothing says “I love you,” like a bold pat on the tushie or a big kiss while waiting in line at the grocery store.

8. Almost all of our photos are professionally taken, so they look great. We don’t have any kids so almost all of our photo frames are full of pictures of us. Most of those were taken on our wedding day. They are beautiful, but I wonder how long it’s acceptable to only display photos of our wedding in our home.

9. Almost all recipes require a special trip to the store because we don’t have a built-up pantry. I love finding awesome recipes I want to make that night and then realizing we don’t have like half of the ingredients!

10. None of these other things really matter that much because marriage is a journey that I’m happy to be on with my best friend. Yes, we fight, and yes we have some unfortunate moments. But, overall, I’d say that we’ve learned more than we ever planned to, and love each other more now than we did before. We’re patient, most of the time, and happy, almost all of the time, too, so there’s really nothing to complain about.

And about the other nine items on my list? We’ll get through them. But if you have advice, we’d love to hear it!

Categories: Lessons | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Friday’s Food for Thought: Rules for Marriage

I found this online this morning and it made me think about what sort of rules we have in our marriage. Things like asking for forgiveness after we mess up, remembering to communicate well, and never ever ever threatening to leave.

We’re still very new to this marriage stuff, even though it’s been almost 11 months now, but we’re learning what works for us.

Every marriage is different, of course, so I’m sure your rules are different. Care to share?

What’s some rules you live by in your marriage? What have you learned to always do…or never do?

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Chicago on my mind…Kansas City in my heart

This weekend, Hubs and I took a bus trip to Chicago with the Cauldron. (That’s the supporters’ organization for Sporting KC.)

Brrr! It was so cold there!

It was our first group trip ever, other than mission trips in high school, and our first bus trip. We traveled there with Wyatt’s brother, and some friends, but also a lot of people we didn’t know at all. It was 20+ hours on the bus from Saturday morning at 12:30 am to 10:30 Sunday night. Yikes.

Hubs took this photo of the cool bridge we got to watch go up to let a whole line of boats pass underneath. Very big-city. :)

And on this crazy whirlwind trip, I learned a lot. Naturally, I thought you guys would want to know all about it, so here goes.

One of the things I didn’t learn was what this awesome sign meant. Where was this kiss and ride? How do we find it? It sounds a heck of a lot better than the regular train…

1. I am not a die hard fan. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan and I love to watch the boys in blue play soccer, win or lose, but I’m not the kind of fan that screams until I’m totally without a voice, drinks until I’m in a crazed stupor, and curses as loud as I can when the ref makes a call against us. Being surrounded by several hundred fans like that for 2 days straight was a little much for me I think. I’m not saying I like the team any less, or the people, but… okay, maybe I like some of the people a little less.

2. Soccer is a heart-breaking, awesome sport. I’m fond of saying that one of reasons I like to play is because, unlike softball, which I played for years and years, teamwork is a lot more important. When I made an error at shortstop, let’s say, a ball bounced past me, or I dropped a throw from the catcher, it was all my fault, and no one was there to save me. With soccer, there’s usually someone there for me to pass to or someone to get the ball if I completely whiff it. Still, when one person does make a bad error, let’s say an own-goal, or a bad tackle that results in a PK. Yikes. Heartbreaking.

3. Ten-plus hours on a bus isn’t fun. They’d be more fun if we had electrical plugs and wi-fi like we were promised, but since we didn’t have those things, it was a rough ride. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to mind cramped quarters with my honey, but I do mind the uncomfortable ways we tried to sleep during the early-morning hours. Ouch.

4. I don’t enjoy trips where every moment is planned out for me. We rushed to spend our few hours of free time by walking downtown in a group to get some pizza (which I didn’t even really want) just because we felt it’s what we should do while we were there. Then, we had to wait for a bus to the game, wait for a bus back, get up early to wait for a bus the next morning…you get the idea. Road trips with Hubs are much more fun when we can choose to stop at an antique store whenever we see one, and stay in bed longer when we’re sleepy…and stop for a restroom break whenever nature calls.

5. Spending time with a group of people that share a common interest is an exciting way to spend time. Hundreds of people that all desperately want to see a victory is a pretty moving thing to be a part of. And when that victory doesn’t happen, it’s a little hard to take. Even though the after-loss pep talks were also pretty moving when I think back. Plus, sharing the team spirit and excitement for the team was a fun honor. It’s a special lifestyle that I certainly appreciate even if I’m not as hardcore.

Yes, the Cauldron is full of some crazy-awesome people..who sing and scream and care like crazy about the KC Wiz.

6. Home is really where the heart is. Looking for a house and being so frustrated by what we’ve found, I’ve began to question how homey our apartment really is. (Don’t freak out, I realize it’s crazy since it IS home.) But when we were away, staying in a hotel room and on a bus with no privacy, standing in the cold rain in the Windy City, home never felt so far away or looked so good. Other than our parents’ houses and a few other nights with friends or family, it was the first time we’ve been away from home since our honeymoon. I’m excited to travel more in the next few months and years, but coming home is something that’s oh-so-sweet for so many reasons, no matter if it’s an apartment or a dream home…someday.

So, last night, we celebrated. By eating meatloaf and rolls in our skivvies. (Reason #45 why husband roommates are the best.) Ah…home.

A photo of our yummy dinner. I’ll spare you the photo of our skivvies…

What about you? What did you do this weekend? What did you learn? What’s your best and worst lessons learned on your best or worst vacation?

 

Categories: Adventures | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Warrior Weekend

This weekend was a big one. I’d say it was a warrior-worthy mess of a weekend.

For starters, Wyatt and I had a huge fight on Friday night. It was the most angry and upset I’ve been since we’ve been married. I don’t need to go into all the details, but we were able to apologize, and forgive each other. And we moved on.

It’s not easy to let something go that quickly when it seems like such a huge deal, but the fact of the matter is that no matter what, we’re going to stay committed to this marriage and to each other. We know that we both try to do what’s best for both of us and just sometimes screw up. Sometimes we screw up bigger than other times…

But it always will work out the same way. Forgiveness.

Then, Saturday morning, we had the Warrior Dash!

WARRIORS!

This is after we finished. So we were tired, muddy, wet, and happy.

Happy and muddy…look at my poor ring! I probably should have taken it off but didn’t think about it until later, and I was SUPER careful in the mud so as not to lose it. (I kept my hand clenched shut the entire time!)

There was a huge line of people waiting to get hosed off afterwards.

Warrior Wash. They’re so clever.

See the people waiting in line?

Then they just spray you down with super cold water. It’s pretty awesome.

All in all, it was a great time.

Wyatt was super tired though, being that he hasn’t really ran more than a mile since September…but he made it!

Yup, that’s sweat. It was pretty hot, but thankfully we ran in the morning before it got too crazy out there.

I had a great time. It was my first time doing an event with Hubs, so that was super fun. He made me jump over the fire. I made him keep running. We’re a good team.

That shirt was white when I started. (I knew it’d get filthy, it wasn’t a shirt I wear a lot now that I’m out of college and it was already stained…)

But the main challenge this weekend came after the Warrior Dash.

We set out to leave for the Sporting KC game Saturday night and Hubs’ car made a real funny noise, and then wouldn’t shift. It was really, really off.

Uh oh.

And then when we went back, switched to my car so we wouldn’t miss the game, and stopped for gas, the service engine light came on in my car.

Suddenly, we were faced by the possibility of having to spend major money on repairs of both of our vehicles. Or just replace them, being that neither of them are worth a costly repair really, especially Hubs’ 1990 Honda Accord. We love that car, but let’s face it. It’s old. As in 279,000 miles-old.

I was overwhelmed. Hubs was angry and frustrated. We spent Sunday afternoon trying to figure out what was wrong with both of them. It was pretty sad.

Our down-payment fund looked like it was in danger.

But we made it. Because we’re warriors, remember?

First we went to the auto-place to run the code on my car. Turns out, it’s something we can fix ourselves for not a ton of money. An inconvenience, sure, but not unbearable.

But the best part is about the Honda. Hubs is a great problem-solver and he was able to find the issue using basic trial and error and the internet. Then we took it to the dealer’s service center to confirm what we thought was wrong. The part was going to be $600 to fix it! Yikes. The car’s not even worth that!

So he set to work finding a salvage yard and we went there to find the part today. He spent an hour trying to find it, but finally got it. Then we headed home, he got it installed, and guess what?

We’re back in business!

I’m proud of Hubs for his off-the-cuff, learn-as-he-goes mechanic skills. I’m proud of both of us for not freaking out and making a rash decision while we were feeling overwhelmed and angry. We were able to find the best solution and save a lot of money, time, effort, and frustration.

I’d say that’s warrior-worthy of a celebration.

Categories: Adventures | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

“X”anthippe

Well, guys, I’m a bit late posting, but it was a busy weekend so I hope you’ll forgive me.

My friend, Elizabeth got married on Saturday and celebrating with them took most of our time this weekend,

but, I want to finish up the A to Z blogging challenge today so I end on schedule.

For X, I’m going to (probably) introduce you to a word.

An Xanthippe is a woman who is ill-tempered and often scolding.

We have the word today because of Socrates’ ┬áproverbially scolding and quarrelsome wife.

As I thought about this, it struck me how terrible it would be to leave that sort of legacy on your marriage.

When people look at our relationship, I want to make sure that they see a loving, generous, and supportive woman standing beside her loving, generous, and supportive husband. I want to be remembered as a couple that played often, fought fair, and made wise decisions together. And most of all, I want people to see that we love with a love than can only be inspired by the way our Father loves us.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7

What about you? What sort of legacy do you want to leave with your marriage?

 

Categories: Love Stuff | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

“U”nderstanding Each Other

Hubs and I are different.

A lot different.

I am a 50% rational and 50% emotional. Usually the rational part wins over, but when it’s time to be emotional, boy, do I get emotional!

Hubs is 80% rational and 20% emotional.*

This can make it hard to communicate.

Case in point?

Last night, about 11:15pm, laying in bed.

I was feeling overwhelmed about working and job hunting and house cleaning and moving and finding a house and…

Hubs was tired.

He knew it was fine for bed.

I knew it was time for bed, too, but the emotional part of my being won out.

I’ll admit there was some crying when Hubs wasn’t really supportive of my need to be cheered up and calmed down.

He was rational in that he said I already knew everything he would say to cheer me up. I knew that I knew all those things, too, but I was already too emotional to care about that stuff now.

(In my defense, I understand that I was still on antibiotics that make me feel super nauseous and that my body is trying to get better, so I know I wasn’t really myself.)

(In Hubs’ defense, he eventually understood that he was going to have to give in and just work me through my emotional-ness, no matter how much he tried to convince me to be rational.

So we had a bit of a fight and stayed up later than we should have.

And we managed to make up and wake up happy together.

Because we understand each other, even when we’re unhappy.

*Hubs approved all the percentages estimated in this post.

Categories: Lessons | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

“R”ecommendations

We’re new in the city, so there’s a lot of things we don’t know.

Things like good dentists and good churches, good eye doctors, good grocery stores, good restaurants, and good jobs…

(Hear that? It’s a hint to tell me about any good jobs you know about!)

Anyway, since we don’t have a ton of knowledge on what’s best for this KC lifestyle, we ask people for recommendations.

Is this dangerous? Probably. Because we don’t know what we’re getting when we visit a doctor that a friend of a friend recommended. Or what we’ll find when we visit a restaurant that was suggested by someone we barely know through work.

But the way we see it, we wouldn’t have any information about where we’re going anyway, right?

And this way, we feel we have something, however small, in common with whatever or whoever we’re checking out for the first time.

Of course, we still end up with no clue sometimes.

Like when we drive into a neighborhood to check out a house and find the sketchiest-looking neighbors we’ve ever seen. Or when we get lost on the way to whatever new place we’re trying to find.

Living in a big, new city isn’t easy.

If it wasn’t for Hubs and GPS, I’d be lost all the time, I swear.

At least with a recommendation, I usually have some insight as to where I’m going and how I got lost on the way…

What about you? How do you find the best places to visit or decide what people to trust in a new place? What’s the best way to ask advice for things like this?

Categories: Adventures | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“L”ast day…

Tonight was my last day at Job#2.

I turned in my two weeks notice, well, two weeks ago, and tonight was my last shift. It seems pretty crazy that part of my life is over now.

It was fun at times, and crazy hectic at times, and awful at times. But I learned a lot about retail, and a lot about myself.

So now I’m down to Job#1 and Job#3.

And now I’m looking forward to what’s next.

Also, tomorrow is the half marathon. Hope it doesn’t storm!

Categories: Everyday Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

“K”nowing what to do…

I’m fond of saying, “…back when I was young and dumb…” to refer to decisions and choices and habits I had when I was younger.

Younger meaning a couple years ago.

Maybe back to high school age…but still, it wasn’t all that long ago…

Either way, I joke that I’m older and wiser now.

And in a way, I guess I am. Hubs and I have grown up a lot in the last few years. We’ve made big decisions, we’ve planned a wedding, graduated, gotten jobs, got married, gotten more jobs, decided to quit jobs, selected and rented an apartment, managed a budget, learned to live together, moved away from friends and family, lost loved ones, gained new friends…

…it’s been a big year.

So, yes, we are wiser now.

But we still have a lot to learn.

We’re currently in the process of selecting a house and we are realizing just how hard it is to make these decisions that will affect us, majorly, for the next several years of our life. It’s a big commitment.

And it’s hard.

In the end, I guess we’ll never really “know” what to do.

But we will know all we can know.

That we need to talk about it, think about it, pray about it, and talk about it some more. And when we can be at peace with decision, we’ll know it’s right.

Right?

What about you? What sort of things do you “know?” And how do you know that you know you know?

(Awesomeness bonus points if you know what that reference is.)

Categories: Lessons | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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