I can’t believe it.
Really, I can’t.
But it’s true.
Hubs and I have been married for a whole year.
Crazy, isn’t it?
I mean, considering the fact that we dated for 6 1/2 years before we got married, so much more has happened in the past 366 days. (It was a leap year, after all, so we got an extra day in our first year of marriage.)
Anyway, a year ago, we stood in front of friends and family and promised some really beautiful things to each other. They were promises we wrote specifically for the each other, in addition to the more traditional vows that our minister personalized for us.
I just read through them again, as I’ve done several times over the past year, and my eyes filled up with tears of overwhelming joy and humility as I realize how amazingly blessed we are to have found each other so young… how extraordinarily happy I am that I got to marry my best friend.
And for what I’d learned at the 6-month mark, read this one.
Last year, we promised to figure out our own way to happily-ever-after as we write our love story each day. Here’s how I think we’re doing and what we’ve learned:
1. Being together is so much better than being apart. After doing the distance thing for nearly our entire season of dating, we are so thankful that we are now committed to the “Where you go, I will go,” attitude toward marriage that we’ve chosen. Sure, there will be short periods of time when we have to be apart, and it will be awful, but we’re committed to making a decision together if ever there is a circumstance that would require longer-term time away. Maybe that would be a job change, or something, but if one of us goes, the other goes. No questions. We know that every relationship is different and that what’s right for us doesn’t make sense for everyone, but it’s something we decided before we were married and we continue to be passionate about this decision.
2. I struggle with housework because I’m still learning to balance my time as I work from home. Right now, I’m blogging while Hubs does the dishes. Yes, it’s our anniversary and we’re working towards getting ready to go out to celebrate tonight, but there’s still dishes that need to be done as we enter this busy week. Should I have done them already since I was home all day? Maybe. But did I skip my much-desired workout today because I was so busy with work stuff? Yes. It’s not that I don’t do anything house-related during the day (I did 2 loads of laundry), it’s just that I feel guilty when I come home and there’s so much messiness around me after being here all day. It’s something to work on for next year for sure.
3. Hubs is awesome at being handy. I’ve learned to trust his judgement about things like cars and house repairs. He’s also awesome at Excel and everything else job-related. I so respect him so much as he settles into work and provides for our family. Sure, I’m working, but as a freelancer, my pay is unsteady and usually weeks or months after I spend the time researching and writing. Not so great at helping pay the bills each month. It’s amazing to watch him become a man that I’m even more in love with every day.
4. Our families have been so supportive as we’re settling into marriage. We are constantly blessed by their help, advice, encouragement, and testimonies of what it means to make a marriage work over time. We are blessed with parents and grandparents who truly love one another and whose stories inspired us and shaped the way we view love. As a celebration of that, we made this video to be played before the start of our wedding. It’s just as special now, and I wanted to share it with all of you.
And finally, the biggest lesson or reflection I’ve had thinking back over our year together:
5. This is life. It isn’t something we’re going to ever “Get.” It’s not something we’ll ever fully learn to be good at. We’re going to mess up and lot, laugh a lot, and keep on waking up together every morning by opening our eyes to see the one we love.
Sure, we’re getting better at specific things like fighting fair and sharing the bed, but we’re still just going to have to keep working though every day, no matter how fun or frustrating it may be. We’re blessed to have been given this relationship to share our struggles and joys, and I’m blessed to share it with you. But no matter how hard I try, some days, or weeks, or months, there just isn’t going to be an major “lesson” or achievement in our relationship. Sometimes, life is more about making it together than what where we’re actually going.
However, I can tell you one thing about where we’re going. It’ll be our own little version of paradise, wherever and whatever that means, because we’ll be going there together.
Congratulations to all the newlyweds who read my blog. Whenever your day is, I hope you take some time to think about things you’ve learned or come to realize in your marriage so far. Maybe it’s a communication technique you’ve finally “mastered.” Maybe it’s something to work on for next year. Maybe it’s something you never realized about your hubs that you just adore. Tell me. I’d love to hear!